How the Liking Principle Can Help You Sell Better
I’ve been on the hunt for a pair of vintage Carhartt overalls for a long time. Like, a very long time. After a year of thrifting and vintage hunting, I found a pair that I adored – actually, two pairs I adored at two different shops.
They were mostly the same – one pair was a little more worn down (a total look, if you ask me) and also a little more expensive. Fit? The same. Year? Almost the same. Would both of them have worked for what I was looking for? Absolutely.
I ended up buying the more expensive, more worn pair of Carhartt overalls. Why?
Because I liked the vintage shop owner so much more than the other vintage shop owner.
The vintage shop owner I bought from struck up a great conversation with me about the overalls. She asked me why I was in town. She got truly hyped when I mentioned my husband and I were currently living in our camper. She engaged with me, vibed with me, and gave me her full attention.
The other vintage shop owner? She was helpful, polite, and did her job just fine. But she didn’t want to chit-chat, and she didn’t take an interest in me.
The result? I ended up not liking her as much as the owner I bought from.
I know what you’re thinking – “Hanna, you’re a sucker. You weren’t friend hunting, you were looking for the best fit at the best deal.”
And you’re right – and that would matter. But only if our brains were purely and entirely logical. Underneath that logical brain that we all have is another part of our brain – our limbic brain.
That brain is emotional. And that brain? It makes decisions based on more than just cost comparison. In fact, it helps shape and form buying decisions – we truly will give our hard-earned dollars to vendors and brands that we like better (even if they’re more expensive or less practical).
That phenomenon is called The Liking Principle, and it’s one of the most leaned on principles of sales psychology and marketing.
It’s also one of the best and fastest ways to create a connection and build trust with your words and copy.
Let’s break it down.
LIL KEY TAKEAWAYS: THIS BLOG AT A GLANCE
Everything You Need to Know About the Liking Principle
Has a marketer ever given your personal brand this advice: just be yourself when you show up and sell!
Probably, because that’s advice we’ve all been given. It’s not bad advice. It’s rooted in the Liking Principle – even if they don’t know it.
The Liking Principle basically tells us that if people like you, they’re more likely to trust and buy from you.
So, in theory, showing up as ourselves gives those people the opportunity they need to like us – so they can trust us and buy from us.
What is the Liking Principle?
The Liking Principle is a key theory in sales psychology (thanks to Robert Cialdini!) that basically says this:
→ We say yes to people we like.
That sounds obvious, right? We see this in our everyday life over and over. We’re more likely to help our friends move their super obnoxious couch up a staircase because we like them. We give our partner the last piece of cheesecake because we like them.
I like Cialdini’s explanation, but I always explain the Liking Principle like this:
→ We’re more likely to buy from people we would get a beer with, walk our dog with, our ally with on Survivor.
Importantly, though, this is more than just a social pattern – it’s a powerful tool when it comes to business. Cialdini basically boils down The Liking Principle to two main truths:
Similarity breeds affection. Basically, we gravitate toward voices, values, and stories that feel like “us” and give us that warm, fuzzy feeling.
Genuine compliments go a long way. People light up when you notice what makes them unique – and mirror it back.
Think about your favorite coffee shop for a second. Why is it your favorite? Sure, the espresso is good and all, but do you love that the barista remembers your name? Are you a big fan because they say, “Hey, there! The usual?” and have it on the counter without a question?
All of those warm feelings are part of the Liking Principle in action.
First, What is Sales Psychology?
Real quick refresh if you’re feeling lost when I say “sales psychology.”
Sales psych is the art and science of understanding why our people buy or invest in things – and also why they don’t buy or invest in something.
Sales psych clues us into all kinds of things behind buyer behavior, like:
Behind-the-scenes content (and why it works)
This isn’t a rousing cheer for neuro-manipulation. It’s an effort for human‑centered communication that respects and recognizes people’s needs, desires, and quirks.
If you want to dive deeper into the big picture, take a peek at our Sales Psychology & How to Use It. (This blog is part of our Sales Psych Series – your roadmap to persuasive, ethical copy.)
Why We Buy From People We Like
It’s one thing to tell you why we buy from people we like – it’s another thing to make it real (and click) for you.
So, let’s talk brains.
Specifically, let’s talk about how your brain decides what to trust – and what to buy.
The Liking Principle works because we’re emotional creatures trying really hard to be rational.
But when it comes down to making decisions (especially ones that involve spending money, taking a risk, or clicking “book now”), we lean on our emotions way more than we’d like to admit.
Our brains crave connection and safety before they crave logic and spreadsheets. And when someone feels familiar, warm, or “like us,” that emotional shortcut kicks in: I like them, so I trust them. I trust them, so I’ll buy.
Think about it this way: When someone lands on your website or reads your copy, their brain isn’t starting with a spreadsheet. It’s starting with a gut check.
That gut check is happening in the limbic system (remember, the part of the brain that processes emotion, memory, and social connection).
The limbic system doesn’t “do language.”
It doesn’t care about bullet points or feature lists. It cares about vibes. About how something feels.
The Liking Principle works because it speaks directly to that emotional, ancient part of the brain. When someone feels a sense of similarity, warmth, or resonance with you, a couple of things happen:
Their amygdala (the threat detector) chills out
The insula, which processes empathy and trust, lights up
And suddenly, instead of scanning for red flags, they’re leaning in. This person feels safe. This person feels like my kind of people. This offer feels right.
Only after that emotional trust is established does the prefrontal cortex – your logic center – step in to rationalize the decision.
That’s when we start justifying:
“This price makes sense…”
“Hm, well, they’ve got great reviews!”
“Yikes, I really do need this right now.”
But that’s post-hoc reasoning. The decision started with liking.
Here’s the kicker: this emotional shortcut isn’t a bug in the system. It’s a survival mechanism. Humans evolved to rely on social cues to make fast decisions about safety, trust, and cooperation. In modern marketing, that means your personality, your language, and your overall vibe aren’t just “nice to have” – they’re neurobiological green lights.
How to Use the Liking Principle in Your Sales Psychology
OK, so now we know why the Liking Principle works (brain stuff! survival! good vibes!). But how do you actually use it on purpose in your copy and content?
Here’s the deal: the Liking Principle isn’t something you have to force or fake. It’s not about charisma. It’s not about putting on a smiley mask.
It’s about amplifying the parts of you that already resonate with your people – and letting those parts show up consistently across your words, your stories, your photos, and your brand voice.
Know Your Own Brand Values & Lean Into Shared Values
People are naturally drawn to those who care about the same things they do. So share those values. If you believe in slow mornings, ethical sourcing, soft pants, or business with boundaries – say so.
Whatever you truly believe in, talk about. You’re looking for your ideal people, right? Well, they’re looking for you, too. They’re looking for you in the crevices and cracks of being a human – they want that evidence in your copy.
Because when your copy reflects your reader’s worldview, their brain goes: Ah. They get me.
Show Up Like a Real Person – Even the Messy BTS Bits
Drop the filter. Write how you talk – but how you ACTUALLY talk. Share behind-the-scenes snapshots, not just glossy highlights. Use humor. Use warmth. Be self-aware.
If you’re building a new offer, do it publicly and messily – talk about it in a real way that shows BTS. If you’re launching something, show your audience the bits and bobs behind the launch on your blog, in your captions, in your emails. You get the picture, right?
Your humanness isn’t a liability; it’s the stuff that makes you actually likable.
(Want proof? Take a peek at the blog Behind-the-Scenes Content and Sales Copywriting for a closer look at why real beats perfect every time).
Mirror Their Challenges + Reflect Their Wins Authentically
One of the easiest ways to make people feel seen is to actually see them. Use your copy to name their problems, their dreams, their roadblocks, and their wins. But don’t just do a vague thing – really know your audience and name their stuff specifically.
When you write like you understand what they’re navigating, they’re far more likely to say: “Yes. This is for me.”
It’s not a coincidence that this overlaps with empathy-led marketing. (Cialdini and your therapist might actually agree on this one.)
Pay Attention to Your Personality & Be Consistent with a Brand Voice Dictionary
Here’s the deal – you can’t show off your personality (the thing people get to like!) without knowing and sticking to your sticky brand voice.
Your brand voice is your unique-to-you language that people recognize, vibe with, and love – but if you don’t know your own language, you can’t be consistent using it.
There are lots of elements to a sticky brand voice, but one of my all-time fave hacks for refining yours (and sticking to it) is the Brand Voice Dictionary.
It’s not always conscious, but people link our words and phrases to our personalities – and those kinds of things can be red flags or green flags in the “do I like them?” department.
My husband says things like “golly!” and “give me a shout!” and “lovers in love” on the regular – and those are all green flag phrases for me. I like how he talks – and that’s one of the reasons I like him.
His language tells me he’s for me.
I’m clearly his ideal audience.
And the same goes for business things. Your words and phrases are going to signal to your people’s brains whether you’re a red flag or a green flag – and the only way to do that is to use your own language consistently.
Your Brand Voice Dictionary is a living, breathing hack that helps you use your words and phrases regularly so that your people hear you loud and clear (and then come running).
Pay Attention to Your Audience (But For Real)
Give credit where it’s due. Hype up your clients. Celebrate the little wins. Praise the folks who show up and try. Not only does this feel good for them, but it also positions you as someone who sees and values people. That alone makes you more likable (and trustworthy).
Be Consistent in Your Brand Voice & Be Yourself
Ever met someone who sounded just like you one day, then the next went full corporate mode on IG? You probably felt a little ick about it – even if you get it in theory.
The reason you struggle with it – and maybe liked that brand or person a little less – is because the consistency of their voice (who they are) felt like it got pulled out from under you.
Consistency builds familiarity, and familiarity breeds trust. When your emails, your website, and your Instagram captions all feel like you, your audience starts to relax. They breathe a sigh of relief. They recognize you everywhere and think, “there they are – I knew them immediately.”
And they like that.
This isn’t just good writing. It’s sales psychology at work, grounded in liking, layered with empathy, and aimed at connection.
Truly, the key IS leaning into yourself in your copy. And if you’re a visual learner instead of a reader, this reel right here can give you three quick tips for changes you can make in your copy to give your audience the chance to like love you.
Need help building and using your own brand voice guide? Meet Brand Voice Roundup – a mini course where I literally walk you through building your brand voice guide step by step. Then, I teach you how to use it practically – like in your IG captions, your website, your emails!
People Buy From People They Like – So Let Them Like You
Here’s the easy truth: likability isn’t a trick. It’s a trust signal. And when your copy gives people the chance to connect with you – to really like you – they’re way more likely to stick around, click “book now,” and buy what you’re selling.
Because being likeable DOES matter when it comes to finding your people, helping them trust you, and making them feel safe enough to buy from you.
If you’ve been feeling the pressure to be “more professional” or “less personal” in your brand voice? Permission to toss that advice in the metaphorical trash. Instead, start where trust actually begins: with warmth. With realness. With words that sound like you.
And if you want help translating all that personality into clear, compelling copy that sells? That’s exactly what Brand Voice Roundup (and me) is for.
